The Empowerment Couple
Ready to supercharge your life with a symphony of laughter, wisdom, and transformative insights? Welcome to The Empowerment Couple Podcast, where entertainment meets empowerment, and education expands your world! Join Zuri and Mikey Star, your empowerment and expansion coaches, on a power-packed journey each week. Laughter and wisdom collide in a perfect blend, creating a space for the empowered posse to play. Dive deep into personal development, relationships, spirituality, career strategies, and other crucial topics that will inform and allow you to co-create your most beautiful life. Featuring top guest experts, every episode is crafted with your empowerment in mind. Subscribe now and let The Empowerment Couple Podcast be your soundtrack to happiness, transmuting your worries and filling you with an abundance mindset.
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The Empowerment Couple
Integrating the Shadow: How Owning Your Darkness Leads to Real Light
What if the parts of yourself you've been hiding or rejecting hold the key to your greatest power and fulfillment? In this illuminating episode, we journey into the depths of shadow work, transforming it from something intimidating into a path for profound self-liberation and empowerment.
Shadow work isn't about battling your demons—it's about reclaiming the disowned parts of yourself that are begging to be seen, both wounds and gifts alike. Your shadow, coined by Carl Jung, is that collection of traits, emotions, and abilities you've pushed into the unconscious, whether because they felt too painful, powerful, taboo, or shameful. These shadows don't disappear when ignored; they run the show from behind the curtain, creating what we call "shadow loops"—those negative thought patterns that studies show make up 80% of our thinking.
We break down five practical steps to shadow integration: naming your shadow without shame, witnessing patterns without reacting, using somatic practices to feel and release emotions, reframing shadow traits as potential strengths, and embodying your whole self through consistent ritual practices. Through personal stories, we illustrate how traits once rejected (like sensitivity) can become superpowers when properly integrated and expressed.
The most common shadow work misconceptions are demystified—from assuming the shadow is only negative (when it also contains brilliance and creativity), to confusing integration with indulgence, to believing it's a one-time project rather than a cyclical journey of growth. As Carl Jung wisely noted, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Your wholeness—not your perfection—is your medicine. By embracing polarities like being both strong and tender, fierce and forgiving, you access a more authentic and empowered version of yourself. What shadow trait is asking for your attention right now? Join us in making shadow work sexy, as we venture into our inner laboratories where true alchemy happens.
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I'm stronger. You mean coming back from the sauna? Oh yeah. Are we, I'm less toxic.
Speaker 2:What are we talking about now?
Speaker 1:We're talking about the shadow work and how dope it is.
Speaker 2:We're making shadow work sexy, y'all, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Going back to the lab to do the shadow work bro.
Speaker 2:I'm going back to the portal to do the shadow work.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, it's waiting for you.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Empowerment Couple podcast, where your path to self-mastery expands.
Speaker 1:My co-host is empowerment coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 2:And he's expansion coach Mikey Starr.
Speaker 1:Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 2:Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can make informed decisions to regain and maintain your personal power.
Speaker 1:We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with purpose, passion and limitless possibilities, while sharing stories of transformation, wellness hacks and healthy habits backed by science and ancient wisdom.
Speaker 2:Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games, banter and funny innuendos along the way. Each episode is an exciting blend of education, entertainment and empowerment designed to help you create a mindset to be a magnet for more love, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 1:Together with our special guests. We are dedicated to sharing information that empowers you to create your most beautiful life A one Z, a two Z, a three Z your most beautiful life.
Speaker 2:I got nothing. I got nothing, I got nothing.
Speaker 1:I forgot what's funny about shadows. Oh my god, it's like a feat we all got them and they all stink right shadows are more assholes.
Speaker 1:There's actually nothing funny about uh shadow work aside from the fact that, uh, it's standing in between you and total happiness and success. You do that shadow work and you're going to be on the on the other side looking pretty good. But in order to do that shadow work, you're going to have to like. You're going to be on the other side looking pretty good, but in order to do that shadow work, you're going to have to like. You're going to have to surrender some comforts. You're going to have to let go of a lot of patterns that you're clutching onto like it's a life raft. You know what I mean Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Well, today we're going to talk about integrating the shadow, how owning your darkness leads to real light. And I was going to say there's plenty of funny things about the shadow, because do you remember when you're a little kid, the first time that you realized you had a shadow?
Speaker 1:I wish I did, but no, I don't. That'd be cool.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, how about this? Have you ever seen people? Kids usually like toddlers and they see their shadow for the first time on YouTube or Instagram or TikTok. And how they like freak out and they like run back to their parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's very cute yeah.
Speaker 2:And like, if you think about it, all of us develop this idea that like the shadow're like there's something wrong, but literally, like, literally, if you have a shadow, that means that you are in the light that is correct and so if you think about, like, being afraid of your own shadow, it's kind of silly and so today is all about integrating the shadow yes how owning your darkness leads to real light, because you can't embody your full power without embracing what you've been avoiding.
Speaker 1:Most certainly, most certainly, and you know, in regards to the shadow work, it's something that you have to do, right, and in order to do it, you have to allow yourself the ability to not be whole right now. Right, in order for you to be whole, you have to integrate both the shadow and the light. So it's not like you're broken. You're just avoiding a part of you that's begging to be seen, and that part is your shadow. So, when you accept your shadow, you accept parts of you that are both gifts and sources of energy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the shadow isn't bad, it's just unclaimed, and everything we repress runs the show from behind the curtain. So today's episode is going to be a journey from suppression to integration, where true empowerment lives not just in light, but in balance.
Speaker 1:In balance, and I love that word. I'm a Libra. It's all about balance, and I like what you said in regards to the shadow. It's running the show behind the curtains, and that's so true, which is why you have to do that shadow work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so let's just first define what is the shadow, because I do think that I see people throw this around and it's like a little misunderstood. Yeah, right, okay, so no shade, no shade.
Speaker 1:No shadow, no shadow, no shade. No shadow, no shadow.
Speaker 2:The shadow is a part of our unconscious mind made up of everything we reject, suppress or disown about ourselves, whether painful, powerful, taboo or shameful. So it was coined by Carl Jung. The shadow includes both wounds and gifts hidden from conscious awareness, and the examples are the over-giver that hides resentment.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The people, pleaser. That hides rage.
Speaker 1:I know one of those.
Speaker 2:The perfectionist that hides shame. Those are just examples. Obviously, we're going to dive into this big time, but your shadow is not your enemy. It's your unloved genius in disguise. And there's this great stat. So, according to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative, 80% 80%. And 95% are repetitive. Say that one more time 80% no, the other one and 95% are repetitive, are repetitive, that's what.
Speaker 1:I said, no, it's funny, but it's also very telling, right? But?
Speaker 2:much of it stems from unresolved internal conflict, aka shadow loops.
Speaker 1:Shadow loops. So if this concept is not yet in your vocabulary, put it in there Shadow loops. So shadow loops are another way of saying negative thought patterns that you fall into that are being produced by your shadow.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, and also that it's the part of us that we've decided not to love.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:And so, and usually it's like some type of programming that hasn't been undone, unlearned, et cetera. But sometimes it can be like I know, I'm fucking better than this, or something like that. That can also be an example of like when you're hiding your gifts for a long time and then you're like fighting with yourself, you're having an internal conflict.
Speaker 1:When I think about shadow work, I always think of the yin yang symbol, where you have the white and the black, and the white, of course, is consciousness and the black is subconscious or unconsciousness. Uh, and I feel like it's also a tell of of your shadow work. And your, you know your light work, right? So you have your, your normal, everyday existence. Uh, that's being propelled by your, by your shadow work, right, you're the shadow side, the part of you that you want to hide from the world, but it represents at least half of you, right? So when you press it, you are at 50%.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so let's just talk about how to look for the shadow, because I think that will be helpful.
Speaker 1:Okay. So there's common signs that you can look for right. So if you're triggered by people who mirror something that you dislike in yourself, you are probably going to jump into one of your shadow loops. You overly identify with being nice or spiritual or strong. Another common sign is that you feel shame, you project, you're envious or you blame people, often for your issues, or you're constantly self-sabotaging or attracting the same toxic patterns right. If it's intense, irrational or reoccurring, it's probably your shadow calling.
Speaker 2:Yes, Intense, irrational and reoccurring.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, you're in a little shadow loop. Neurologically, the brain protects us by disassociating from painful experiences, often storing them in implicit memory-driving, subconscious behaviors. So there's a purpose for it, right, our brain has avenues for that space.
Speaker 2:Especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 1:Yes, especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 2:This association is like a major sign of trauma, you know, and it's like a way to cope.
Speaker 1:And you're going back to you know, feeling shame or self-sabotage. Again, that is the shadow asking for integration and by ignoring it, you're simply asking for more of that, more of the shame, the blame the self-sabotage, because that's suppression. That is suppression exactly.
Speaker 2:And the goal is not to make the shadow the enemy. You need to figure out how to integrate it so that it is your unloved genius, like I was saying. So let's talk about how this is a big one to integrate it, because I know you're like wait, wait, wait. How am I integrating this asshole?
Speaker 1:Everyone's grabbing their pens and papers. Okay, let's pause this. This is interesting.
Speaker 2:All right, so we're going to go deep here. So how to integrate the shadow is integration equals awareness, plus compassion, plus choice.
Speaker 1:Ooh choice.
Speaker 2:And there's five steps to integration. So number one would be to name it without shame. So if this is new work to you, the best way to find out the name is that you can journal. What part of myself do I hide, judge or fear? So if you have a rage tendency that comes out, name it. And the part of you that hides that you have maybe an addiction or that's something you wouldn't want anybody to know about you, name it. If there's something you wouldn't want anybody to know about you, name it. If there's something that you're really afraid of, like success, for example, a lot of people are afraid of success.
Speaker 2:Name it. So what part of yourself do you hide, judge or fear? And then, if you're thinking like if I wasn't afraid of being rejected because that's what's at the end of all of the shadows, or unloved, etc. Right, I'd admit I'm X dot, dot, dot, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:The next part is to witness the pattern without reacting to it. Right so you want to slow down. When you are triggered, I always associate it with like a sneeze. Right so, you have a sneeze. The sneeze is a biological response to an irritant, right? So when your body's having an old wound that comes up, treat it as like a sneeze. Right so, it's not something that you have to react to. You can ask yourself what part of me is trying to protect or to prove? Right, so that you can experience it without having to react to it.
Speaker 2:You can just be the witness of the pattern, like last week's episode. We talked about reaction and taking your power, pause, and so that's just playing more on that, like understanding, like you see the pattern.
Speaker 2:so you can choose pattern, or you could choose peace. So number three would be feel it to free it, so you can use somatic tools like breath work, shaking, voice work, tapping. But basically you want to feel what you're feeling so that you can let it go rather than not feel it. And then eventually you know the pot is going to boil over, so you want to let the emotion move through you instead of getting it stuck. And people do this in the gym, people do this in the vocal booth. You know people do this many different ways.
Speaker 1:The next is to reframe the shadow right, so instead of saying I'm too much, you can try. My intensity is my power. Right, so you can. And that's huge in the integration part is how you vocalize it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, reframing anything is really powerful and it's a big part of our coaching process. Correct, it's just understanding the emotion, but then reframing it so that you can take your power back.
Speaker 1:And as far as power, shadow alchemy basically is taking back the positive intention that's underneath that shadow work.
Speaker 2:Right, because most of us are good at our core, but then we start getting out of balance and then we're pushing certain parts of us away and then overcompensating, and it's just creating this loop of like exhaustion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:So number five would be embody the whole self. So you want to ritualize it. So this is why we talk about habits a lot like movement. What's your mantra? What's your mirror? Are you doing mirror work? Are you working out? Are you spending time in nature? Are you singing, like for me, or are you? Mike has a really amazing workout schedule. Are you working out? How are you integrating your shadow? I would guess, because I've seen you work out and you do these crazy workouts, that you are integrating a shadow part of yourself to lift really heavy weights.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, most certainly I have. It's where I have the opportunity to express my anger and rage in a positive way, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I would say that the anger and rage that I have denied over certain phases, I've put it into songs, or I recently am beating the shit out of our punching bag, which has been really fun doing lots of kickboxing workouts, and so the practice can be like today I let my shadow trait, whatever it might be, be seen in a safe way and I alchemize it.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:So integration is letting your shameful parts sit at the table without kicking them out of the house. Is that helpful?
Speaker 1:It is. It is. You know. One thing I will say about the shadow work. Like I said before, it is the most important thing that you can do in order for you to maintain and achieve balance. So if shadow work isn't on your list of to-do items, put it at the top of your list and your life will literally get better and better as you do so.
Speaker 2:And so why do you think shadow work is so confusing and why do people not integrate it? Let's go over the top five reasons. Got it? Okay, you go first.
Speaker 1:Okay. So first is that they think that the shadow is bad or dark only right and, like I said, with the whole yin-yang, both sides are equal. They just do two different things right. So many assume that the shadow only includes shameful or negative traits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the confusion, the truth is.
Speaker 1:It also includes repressed power, brilliance, sensuality and creativity Anything that was once unsafe. To express An example, a woman may repress her confidence because it triggered envy in her family. That confidence becomes part of her shadow, right? It's like, oh, I'm not using this, so I'm going to put it in the trunk part of her shadow. Right? It's like, oh, I'm not using this, so I'm going to put it in the trunk. Shadow work isn't popping the trunk and looking at stuff that you just threw in there. Your shadow work actually becomes your co-pilot in life, right? So it's not something you throw in there, it's something that you refer to to move forward in life, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think, like in that analogy trunk, you know, like the thing that you put in the trunk, meaning you're repressing, let's say, the confidence that you. You know we're talking about this woman who may repress her confidence because it triggered envy in her family, right, that's what you said. So like that confidence becomes part of her shadow, meaning she is hiding that part of herself. So therefore, like, if you're putting something in the trunk, it's actually what should be, like the flashiest part of the car, whether it's like the great paint job or like you know, but it's meant to be seen. And that's the thing about shadow work is, like, you're meant to be seen fully.
Speaker 1:Yeah, going with this whole, you know, trunk analogy, it's like having a GPS and throwing in the trunk to go through, you know what I'm saying. We're getting sideways on this analogy.
Speaker 2:This analogy is not helping nobody. The GPS, it's the paint job, it's a co-pilot. Okay, so number two would be this is the reason why people get confused and why they don't integrate. They confuse integration with indulging. And here's the thing. The confusion is, people think embracing the shadow means acting out the trait. So if you happen to be like a yeller, or you're very selfish or you're one-sided, whatever, the truth is that integration means acknowledging the trait, understanding where it came from. Why are you yelling? Why are you being selfish? Why are you being one-sided about issues and then choosing to express it consciously and in healthy ways? So an example would be instead of lashing out in anger, you learn to assert boundaries calmly and clearly. So it's like, instead of yelling, you don't need to yell. You can be regulated and have a response that says this is my boundary Correct and you can ask for it calmly and clearly, and if somebody doesn't respect it, that's on them.
Speaker 1:Okay, number three they expect it to be an intellectual process. Shadow work is not an intellectual process. Many try to think their way into healing. The truth is that the shadow lives in the body and subconscious, so it often requires somatic work, emotional release and energetic practices, not just journaling or affirmations. Right so feeling it to healing. It applies deeply here.
Speaker 2:Feeling it to heal it, yep, okay. So number four would be they don't recognize projections as shadow work invitations. So the confusion is that people, just you know, trigger me because they're so awful or, like you know, everybody's become blah, blah, blah, like I hear definitely elders saying things like that oh, this generation doesn't da-da, you know, and it's like the truth is is that intense emotional reactions are often mirrors, showing us what we've disowned in ourselves, positive or negative. So an example would be, let's say, jealousy of an amazing podcaster, and it might reveal your own silenced voice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it might reveal your own silenced voice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like projection exactly A speaker or somebody who's on stage who's getting all the accolades. If you're feeling jealous, it means that your voice knows it needs to be heard as well, and if you've silenced it, you or someone else has silenced it, because that happens too, especially in childhood. You need to let it out. Honey. What's number five?
Speaker 1:Number five. Number five is the confusing one. They think that once it's integrated, that it disappears, right? So the confusion is I did shadow work last year, so I'm done, right? Nope, and the truth is integration is cyclical, not linear, right? New life stages, relationships or challenges will reveal new layers right, say that again.
Speaker 2:new layers, yeah, new layers.
Speaker 1:It's like onions, right. So that's part of the growth cycle, right? It's not about never being triggered again. It's about recovering with more love and awareness each time. Right, so you're not falling into the same pit over and over again. Now you're jumping over it.
Speaker 2:And oftentimes I feel like the integration part it has to be cyclical, because that's how we expand. So, like you, you will get challenges. You think you're healed. Okay, well, let's see. That's how the universe works. It's like how healed are you? You know, are you this, you, are you this healed, or are you this healed? And there are varying reactions and responses. And so if you think that doing the shadow work at one point like I did all this work it's like honey, this is earth. You're going to be doing work until you're done and when you're done you're no longer here. That's earth school. So let's just cover really quickly how to embody balance.
Speaker 1:Yes, before we move on, I just want to remind you that the shadow isn't all bad. There are hidden gifts in there too. So when you go into that shadow work, don't go in there thinking, oh, I'm going to go and deal with my demons. You probably will also uncover a bunch of latent talents that are eager for expression.
Speaker 2:Like I'm going to share a personal story real quick. So, for example, when I was younger, I would be told I'm too sensitive and because I had a sensitivity about me that I would, you know, use to write songs. You know, I started writing when I was like five years old and after something bad happened in our family, um, well, somebody died, you know, my, my brother died when I was five, my first brother and, um, I wrote a song and then I was like, oh wow, I really like, like doing this. This is fun. And I was little. This is me recording into a tape and just finding a way through, and also the desire to make your family happier, because everybody's grieving, but just finding how to take something and turn it into something.
Speaker 2:And if I had listened to somebody who told me I was too sensitive, then I would have rejected the part of me that felt enough pain to write the song. And now, as an adult, I use that sensitivity as part of my coaching. Is that I have the intuitive downloads, because I am sensitive and because I can sense energy and because I can sense when there is a solution or a shortcut for a client. And if I had not integrated that shadow part of myself which some would call that weak, like if you cry easily or if you laugh easily. Those are both part of being sensitive, but if I had rejected them then I wouldn't be who I am now and I also would be not fulfilling my purpose of being here.
Speaker 1:And to continue that you would not have been able to help the hundreds, if not thousands, of people who you've already helped.
Speaker 2:Yes, and thank you for saying that. But also, I think most importantly is, yes, who I've served, but also that I didn't serve my purpose and so, therefore, I would have not been fulfilled. Correct, like why am I here, you know, like, which is where a lot of people end up suffering. Correct, and so not believing that person who said you're too sensitive, um is is, you know. I rejected their statement about me rather than rejecting the, the sensitive part of myself, which is part of my superpower. It's part of how I can love so hard. So I think that hopefully, that example gives you perspective of like. You have the choice to see your shadow as a part of you that you can integrate throughout your entire life, and it will change your life, like. You were given that shadow for a reason, so my suggestion is to embody it as much as possible. Oh, yeah, for a reason. So my suggestion is to embody it as much as possible and find out what it will do for you, because a balanced, sensitive person can serve like none other.
Speaker 1:But an imbalanced, sensitive person is going to have a hard time, exactly so just to make the shadow work real sexy. All I just want to say is, if you are not like banging out your purpose, it's because your purpose is probably still hidden in your shadow.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And once you bang up that purpose, money experiences, health, love, all that stuff will literally be attracted to you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, you'll align to it. Correct, because it really just all comes down to alignment. Is that if you're rejecting something, the universe is going to push harder, you know, because you are hiding your gift, like you came in with some type of gift yeah, and most of us come in with lots of gifts. You know, like sensitive was just one thing that I remember, like really finding that the strength of my purpose here is something that I was shunned for.
Speaker 1:And you have more gifts, of course, all of us do.
Speaker 2:All of us have all kinds of things that come through.
Speaker 1:I've seen glimmers of all kinds of gifts and I'm like, oh gosh, sorry.
Speaker 2:Likewise, thank you. Do you want to share a personal story?
Speaker 1:No, we don't have time. I'm long-winded. Let's get to the next part.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right. So number four would be embodying balance, and basically what we're talking about is figuring out how to find the balance of using the shadow and also finding the balance of the shadow. So, true, empowerment often comes from polarization and opposites, right. So, for example, you can be very strong and very tender. So, like my sensitivity story, like I am strong as fuck, like you haven't met a stronger person, likely, but I am super sensitive and empathic.
Speaker 1:I will go so far as to say is that you really can't be strong unless you're tender at the same time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like there's often you'll find your shadow in polarity, correct. So another one. Do you want to give an example?
Speaker 1:Fierceness over being forgiving.
Speaker 2:Fierceness and forgiving.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can be fierce and forgiving at the same time and again, just like the strong and tender, you can't be fierce without being forgiven. You need that contrast right, and that's going to come from the shadow work.
Speaker 2:Most likely you have. That is, the thing is that you're not often given a part of yourself without its opposite is what we're saying here. So, for example, you can be boundaried, but you're also probably available, and so finding the balance between the two, no trespassing boundaried. Boundaried.
Speaker 1:And then there's you can also be sexual and spiritual at the same time.
Speaker 2:I often think that they are totally separate because religion has made us believe that sex is bad.
Speaker 1:I didn't say sexual and religious. I said sexual and spiritual. Yeah, you can be both.
Speaker 2:And honestly, like in a lot of my coaching with women, we do talk a lot about this because we are sexual beings and if you are repressing your sexual body, then you know there's a part of your spirit that is diminished and not fulfilled. Correct, so finding the sexual and spiritual, that's how you're embodying the balance of who you came in to be. There's a good quote from the shadow work king Carl Jung, which is until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
Speaker 1:Fate Ooh, I love that word. Fate, oh, it must be fate, no, it's-.
Speaker 2:Or bad luck. People will say bad luck. I don't know why this is happening.
Speaker 1:Well, your shadow does.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are creating it.
Speaker 1:Have a conversation with it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, your wholeness is your medicine. It's not your perfection, right?
Speaker 2:Your wholeness is your medicine. It's your medicine.
Speaker 1:Right is your medicine right, so you can be whole. And it doesn't have to come across as being perfectionist, right, you can come across as just being healthy and happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your wholeness is like something that you look to get medicine from and that you take as medicine. So you're looking for that balance and you have to give yourself grace so that you don't feel like you have to be perfect.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, let's play a game.
Speaker 1:I need a game. I need a giggle Talking the heavy stuff here I mean the shadows over the air are just like okay, bro, we're not done yet, okay stuff here.
Speaker 2:I mean the shadows over there are just like, okay, bro, we're not done yet. Okay, so I'm going to read off a trait and then like selfish, you know control, etc. Just a trait, right, Okay, and then you're going to guess whether it's a shadow or a superpower.
Speaker 1:Ooh, okay.
Speaker 2:And then unpack like how that trait can be integrated so it can be a power, Because you know spoiler alert most things can be used.
Speaker 1:Yes, all things can be used, all things can be, used. All things are fuel.
Speaker 2:Except for there's a couple, though, that I was thinking like when I was working on this game. I was like, um, I don't know how that could be used.
Speaker 1:Okay yes, you know what I mean, so let's just get back to the game. Okay, here we go we got serious.
Speaker 2:What else do you want to talk about Politics?
Speaker 1:Oh, here we go Politics. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm going to read off a trait, okay, and then you're going to tell me whether it's a shadow or a superpower, and then we'll unpack how the trait can be integrated. Got it and use this power.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, let's do it, let's do it, okay. So anger, anger is most certainly a what's the trigger, right.
Speaker 2:Shadow, shadow, yeah, yeah. Or a superpower, it's a shadow, we're playing shadow, or superpower, Shadow, or superpower, so anger is most certainly a shadow.
Speaker 1:I have found that anger is easily transmuted to focus, so it can be a superpower.
Speaker 2:Yes, so it's a shadow, but it can be integrated and what it looks like would be expressed with clarity, not chaos, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah so like when you're anger, anger when you're angry, can't talk. I'm a podcaster.
Speaker 1:When your bound read had been.
Speaker 2:Your bound read and anger.
Speaker 1:Your over bound read.
Speaker 2:Okay. So when you're angry, you can express it with clarity and, like you know, say exactly in maybe a stern manner if you're having a conversation, but also you can express it by using it to be creative with you know that mean like anger is a good driver if you have a lot of crap to do.
Speaker 1:That is correct.
Speaker 2:So if you express it with clarity, okay, I'm going to use this frustration of this thing. Frustration is a form of anger, fear is a form of anger, and so just not expressing it with chaos.
Speaker 1:Yes, the difference would be getting super, super angry, going outside with an ax and cutting a bunch of trees. That's chaos. The other thing would be deterrent anger and stack a bunch of wood for winter right, which requires a lot of physical strength.
Speaker 2:but if you're angry, you've got tons of strength For reals. Okay, here's another one. How about sadness? Okay, here's another one.
Speaker 1:How about sadness? Sadness definitely shadow. Again, everything can be transmuted, so I can see sadness being a way of clar what's going on in your heart. That's my answer. What do you got? Sadness.
Speaker 2:No, I think it's a shadow, for sure. I think the way to use it as a superpower is just transmutation. Honestly, a lot of these are going to be that answer. Yeah, but it's like what you turn it into. You know, some people turn sadness into a non-profit that supports whatever they're sad about Some people use. So it's a choice. That's. The thing about shadows is that if you want to integrate them, they can remain a shadow, which means you're repressing them and you're not integrating, or they are what drives you. What can be a superpower or grief. You know somebody loses somebody. Then they turn, you know, to helping people overcome grief, Like you see that pattern over and over again. That would be transmutation of said trait.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that you know all of all of these are great, um, uh great ingredients to be used and baked into something beautiful and tasty and savory. You can take sadness and bake it into a positive cake, I don't know.
Speaker 2:What if you're super positive all the time?
Speaker 1:I would say, that's.
Speaker 2:People are always like oh, toxic positivity. I'm like toxic positivity. No, but what if you're positive? What if you just naturally came in very positive? You're just the optimistic kind of person.
Speaker 1:Um, I would say that's a superpower. Um exist in tandem with each other, right? So if you are super positive, it may be that you are working your ass off to stay away from your shadows.
Speaker 2:Polar opposite of positivity is negativity. Positivity is negativity, and so you have to find out how to use the negativity that is around you or that you are hiding in yourself, to work for the trait that you want to experience the most, and if it's positivity, then the negative negativity has to be put to work and integrated. Be an alchemist.
Speaker 1:Be an alchemist exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your trigger is your teacher Mm-hmm and your shame. That's just power waiting for permission. So time to integrate that shadow.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yeah, and I like what you said about it's waiting for permission because it's ready to go.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, right, it wants to be it came in ready.
Speaker 1:It wants to be integrated, right. So I'm also playing with this idea that your whole shadow self is living its whole life, asking for permission to bring you into the party, because you're the life of the party.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, so bring your shadow work, and your shadow is going to bestow upon you all kinds of gifts and healing modalities. It's just a wonderful place to visit. Yeah, check it out, the journal prompt for this week.
Speaker 2:Question of the week is what shadow trait is asking for my attention right now?
Speaker 1:That is beautiful. Well, I believe that the shadow is where the soul hides its light, right? So there's plenty of light for you to reach. The minute you go into your shadows, it's not all dark.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's asking to be brought into the light. So because it needs to be integrated. That's the whole thing. That's a whole podcast right there.
Speaker 1:That's it. Integrate your shadow and you will be happier.
Speaker 2:And so we want to invite you to not hide your shadow. Harmonize with it, find how it can work for you. The funniest part of shadow work, and why I think it's so confusing, is because it's called shadow, so people think like they have to go into, like the shadowy part of the woods. Uh-oh, you know've got to go in the hood Demons living in darkness and things stink. Oh my gosh, there's a bog. You always talk about a bog.
Speaker 1:You've got to use the outhouse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, oh, it's going to be awful. And I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be awful. I think that we are approaching the shadow work with not the clarity that it needs. So the point of us sharing all of this is to give you to put some light on that shadow. The shadow is pretty fucking dope because you are dope and you didn't come into this playing field to have just part of you yourself being seen. You know to wear some mask like oh, I'm never angry, I'm never sad, I'm never. I don't know. I feel like name the seven dwarfs.
Speaker 2:I'm never sneezy, sleepy I'm perfect and social media will have you believing kind of that you know, and just like all media will have you believe like you know, even like a tampon commercial, like why are they skipping and jumping? Yeah, exactly, don't they have cramps, Aren't they don't? They just want to eat and lay on the couch Like Where's the chocolate? Where's the chocolate? And there's none. They're always playing on a beach in white. I'm like who the fuck wears white.
Speaker 1:Why white? I'm like who the fuck wears white. Why does the husband look happy? Husband's not happy, no one's happy.
Speaker 2:Nobody's happy. Like, just be so fucking real right now, like that's the phrase that I just find myself saying over and over again, and to myself as well, because I want to integrate the shadow parts of myself. And the shadow parts of myself have taken a backseat in my life, and so when I do this work with clients, I'm always laughing at like okay, so what do you think your shadow is? And the common answers are like, oh well, I'm really lazy. And I'm like, oh okay, so you're really lazy. Okay, so tell me how you're really lazy. And they'll be like oh well, you know, I didn't get to where I wanted to be in this part of phase by this phase of my life. I was like, oh okay, and why is that? Well, because I just didn't work hard enough.
Speaker 2:And I'm like oh, okay, and why is that? Oh, because I'm lazy and I'm like or maybe my hallucination is that you weren't lazy, because how did you accomplish, you know, and oftentimes these are from like high achievers, you know, and they're like saying all the things that they did, you know, to the public, but then inside, they believe that they are lazy. And so you have to be careful not to like associate a belief, a false belief, a limiting belief, with a shadow, because if you're lazy, there's no way you could be the person that you you are, especially the people that I'm referencing, like my clients, you know, which I can't name them, um, but uh, because of confidentiality. But like thinking, thinking of how people think the shadow is something that they're ashamed of, and sometimes the thing that you're ashamed of is that you aren't living a life in alignment. That's why things aren't happening as fast for you.
Speaker 2:You were pushing instead of allowing yourself to be pulled, and the shadow of that is just a lot of confusion, a lot of the wrong programming.
Speaker 1:I totally agree. Let me ask you a question If we, if you were to name the shadow something else, right, what would you name it? To eat, to soften the load or make it more attractive to visit?
Speaker 2:I would call it one of the necessary paths on your journey. The shadow is, like one of the most necessary that you have to take, like we've talked so much heavy stuff in the past couple of months, like your wounds. I need to know your wound mother wound, father wound so that I can help you. And then I need to know how it's triggered you which is why we talked about reactions and then I need to know what is the shadow that you are hiding? What haven't you brought into the light? And if you haven't brought into the light that you have a deep core wound about, you know, like my example of sensitivity, like if you have that wound, then how are we going to ever use it? Like, how are we going to? If you're hiding it? It can't be used, correct, nobody knows you have it.
Speaker 1:That is correct. Not even you have it. That is correct, not even you. No, yeah.
Speaker 2:And you might know that you have it, but instead of looking at it for what it is as a superpower, you're looking at it like oh, it's a shadow.
Speaker 1:I would say something like going back to the laboratory right, going back into, like a lair or a cavern where I do my work right, where I do my alchemical work. You know I have a big cauldron, I have my libraries. You know I'm going there regularly to upgrade who I am and how I can produce what I want to on this world, right? So if I'm going back to my layer, that's nice and easy, right, I can close my eyes and meditate and do the somatic work and actually be in my layer. That for me feels easier to say than I'm going to do my shadow work. You know what I'm saying. So I try to make it easy to enter into shadow work by calling it something sexier.
Speaker 2:But it's still the shadow work. You got a secret lair. You're not telling me about it.
Speaker 1:I got that lair, you know.
Speaker 2:That lair you're going back to, it's got a cauldron. What else is there?
Speaker 1:Going back to the lab.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:Without a mic to grab. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Wait, going back to the lab without a mic to grab.
Speaker 1:Eric Going back to the lab without a mic to grab Eric B Rockham. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I know who it is, but you are Mike too. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Without a mic to grab. Oh, that's nice. Oh, see I grabbed this mic, going back to the lab to get a different version of Mike to grab you know what I'm saying? Yes, I like that, let's go right now, let's see what else we can sp I would love to invite you to my lab, but it's a one-person party. You can't come and do my work. But I can show you what I'm producing.
Speaker 2:Yes, I will see it, because I'll reflect it to you.
Speaker 1:I see you also having a beautiful mystic lair somewhere in your mind.
Speaker 2:I got a mystic lair right. I got a portal.
Speaker 1:You got a portal. Right, I got a portal. You got a portal. Exactly, I got a portal. You got a portal too. My lab has a portal and a cauldron. It has all kinds of cool shit. Boom, I got a reset button in there too.
Speaker 2:So do I. Yeah, it's nice.
Speaker 1:I got to use it more often, but it's there.
Speaker 2:You need to use my button more often and we are sending you the highest vibration.
Speaker 1:You are held.
Speaker 2:You are loved.
Speaker 1:Sorry, my game. The changes are right here.
Speaker 2:Pick whatever one you want. Let's stop being nerds and hang out.
Speaker 1:Yes, bye, vagina. Hey, that's the shadow. Honey, that's in the shadow.
Speaker 2:Hey, that's the shadow honey. No, I think I didn't get it. I didn't get it. The editor says I think I didn't get it, I didn't get it. The editor says oh, I didn't get it. Sorry, can't roll back the tape, didn't get it. You're held your love and we're done Bye. Thank you.
